If you could do ANYTHING in the world, what would you do?

by epi

What are your deepest desires? If you could BE anyone, who would you be?

These past few months, I’ve been attempting to boil my desires down to their base-st (made it up) essence.  If I could DO or BE anything in the world, what would that look like? What are the thing I’ve always wanted to do? This exercise required me to put tangible terms to head-in-the-clouds-desires. This is what I’ve gotten:

  • I want to be known for loving God.
  • I want to run a marathon.
  • I want to get a PhD.
  • I want to live overseas for a few years.
  • I want to marry someone who loves God, books, and travel as much as I do.
  • I want to write a book.

A while ago, I realized that if I ever want to be the person I dream of being at 45 or 50, I need to start now. I need to make steps toward my PhD. I need to travel more. I need to become more comfortable with who I am, so that if I ever do find someone like myself–I’ll be ready for them.  I need to commit to being a runner. I need to start writing every day.

That’s it.

(Actually… I miss my community from Tulsa. And I have to ask–what am I doing wrong here? Just as quickly though, I know… nothing. I’m doing the best I can. This is just a season I’m passing through. It’s made me stronger, and for as long as it continues, I will be made stronger. I’m grateful for feeling lost [God reminds me that I’m found only in him], lonely [He is all I need], angry [I’ll find peace when I give it back to Him], and beaten down [His yoke is mine, and mine is His].  When I doubt, I need only claim belief, when I’m weak, I need only remember that he is my strength. Praise God for breaking me. Seriously… I am praising God for tribulations.)

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