i read this article.
and decided i needed to catalog my flaws (as i know them).
- i’m quick to take responsibility for others’ sins, and slow to surrender an admission of guilt for my own.
- i like to believe i exist alone, while living in a body built for the company of others.
- i’m quick to lie, and quicker to promise that i don’t.
- i tell those around me the hard “truths”, and reserve soft and peaceful lies for myself.
- i’m angry, but refuse to admit it.
- i speak first and think later and refuse to apologize even when i’m in the wrong.
- i take time to “think things through” to the detriment of those around me.
- i’m selfish. so very very very selfish.i
- i prefer my own company to that of friends. (that’s a lie. but it’s easier than the truth.) (i’m not entirely sure what the truth is.) (what i don’t know, i make up.)
- i’m compulsive.
- i’ve forgotten, if i ever knew, how to commit.
- i’d rather be alone than work at a relationship.
- i speak fleeting thoughts as though they were hard Truths.
- i take walks alone at night. (i’m self destructive.) (i’m curious to a fault.)
- i swallow my anger. (but it always lodges in my throat, freeing itself at the worst and inappropriate moments.)
- i question Abba. (but refuse to say it out loud because i’m afraid i’ll seem weak.) (i think admission of defeat is weakness.)
- if i don’t believe i can master something easily, i won’t attempt it. (and yet, i “put myself out there” in cases when rejection in imminent. it proves something that might be a lie.)
- i’m scared to be alone. (i’m even more terrified to love someone and have them hurt me. (i guard my heart from everything but what might actually hurt me.)
- i run away when things get hard. (i don’t look back.)
- i’m afraid i won’t know how to cry if someone i love dies. (so i do my best not to love anyone enough to cry at the loss of them.)