20-something (unedited)

by epi

they tell me:
patience
wait
hold on
take a breath

they tell me:
i’m moving too fast
not thinking things through
it’s not the time to make mistakes
the cost is high; the burden, heavy

i don’t have the heart to tell them:
i can’t stop moving
can’t slow down
can’t allow myself even a moment
to believe that there’s something else
out there for me
can’t hope for more
can’t want for something else

so i move
fast
head down
lips tight sealed
through a crowd of do-gooders
making promises they can’t keep
to a girl who never asked for promises
just room to move
fast
head down
lips sealed tight
(not asking for more
not hoping for different)
through a crowd
with the luxury of being able
to take a breath
to think things through.

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