Rachel, This is For You

by epi

When I was 14, I was asked, as part of my sophomore English Class to re-write Jenny Joseph’s ‘Warning‘ from my perspective. Today, while packing, I stumbled across it.  Here it is.

One Scary Old Woman

When I’m an old woman I think I’ll go all out
I’ll buy a rocking chair and paint it salmon and orange
And I’ll sit on it while it’s still wet
And run around yelling “I’m a setting sun”
I’ll stick knitting needles in my hair
And wear a ring that buzzes like the doorbells I’ll go around pressing
I’ll set off my alarm to check the policeman’s speed
And tap-dance with my neon pink and blue swimsuit in the rain
I’ll paint my house purple with blue and pick daisies
And on Halloween I’ll slip almost real spiders into kids’ candy
Then I’ll learn to use a paint ball gun
And paint everyone who dares to come by

(well done little eprise, you little creepster you. well done. not the poetry, which is… yeah. but i’m pretty sure she had a spot on understanding of what kind of person she was becoming. here’s to old age, and to getting crazier.)