i have bad poetry to share

by epi

but i’m gonna hold off for a bit. I have something real to say.

I’ve been thinking about this year a lot lately (I know it’s only halfway through, but, time moves so quickly). I keep saying it’s “bad”. In my melodramatic way, I might’ve even called it “the worst year of my life” as early as January 5th. But lately I wonder, how can anything be bad? Once, years and years ago (a couple of months) I tweeted that “the day was never bad, I just had the wrong outlook.” I think that might be true.

So, if you don’t mind, over the next few posts, I’d love to share a few of the reasons why the “worst year of my life” may just make my favorite list.

#1–My Car
The very first day of this year, my car left me stranded on the Turnpike as I was driving from IND to TUL. In the subsequent week, my car would fail two more times. I have a new battery, a new alternator and a new safety neutral switch. I’ve also replaced the brakes, a window relay, and soon a window motor.

Why is any of this good? Well, I know what an alternator is. I can find my fuse box, replace parts, and am contemplating learning to change my own oil. For a girl who couldn’t even remember the name of a hood six months ago, we can mark this all as significant progress.

Plus, I read car forums now. I know what they’re saying, and I’m considering taking a car maintenance class. And more (because, yes, there’s more), for some reason, a broken car brings people together. I think about those (strangers & friends alike) who’ve pushed my car, taught me how to pop my hood (NOT FRONT TRUNK), picked me up on the expressway, texted me with random car information, taped plastic bags on my window… and I smile. And I thank God for my broken car. Because, without it, I don’t believe I’d understand how loved I am. (And yes, I’d prefer a fixed, non-breaking car, but, because I don’t have that, I’m more than happy to just be grateful for these people who rally around you in hard times.)